Barbara Bailey was the first and only child born to Waldemar (Walter) Christian Bailey and Margaret Matilda Fraser. Barbara was born on July 16, 1920 in Vancouver, Washington.
Barbara spent her childhood years in Vancouver, Washington. Her father initially operated a welding shop and later worked as a welder. During the Great Depression (1929-1939), as work became scarce, Walter's experience and skill s as a welder probably allowed him to weather the economic storm better than others.
Walter was a lover of the outdoors. This is evidenced in the photographs of him and his family. He always took his family on camping outings and vacation excursions. The family travelled to Trail, British Columbia, Canada with his wife's parents, Simon and Jessie Fraser, and his wife's cousin, Al MacKay and his wife Lillian, to visit Al's sister May and her husband Jack Henderson there circa 1925. The family also took a driving trip down into California circa 1935 stopping at Mt. Shasta and Crater Lake. Barbara was approximately 15 years old at the time. A photograph of Barbara and her father at Crater Lake from that trip is uploaded to this memorial.
Waldemar became employed on the construction of the Bonneville Dam on the Columbia River above Portland and Vancouver through the Public Works Administration (PWA) circa 1933. On April 10, 1936, Barbara’s father was drowned after being struck and knocked into the river by a pile driver while working in the center crib of the dam. His body was not found until August 23rd. His funeral service was held at Fern Hill Cemetery in Aberdeen, WA on August 27, 1936.
This tragedy caused Margaret and Barbara to move back to Aberdeen and for them to reside with Margaret's mother Jessie Ann Fraser, who was at that time living alone in the family house at 624 Essex Avenue in Aberdeen. Barbara then enrolled at Weatherwax High School (Aberdeen High School) where she graduated in 1938.
In 1940 Barbara, age 20, was working as a stenographer for a real estate business in Aberdeen. She later became employed at First Federal Savings & Loan Association in Aberdeen.
At some point (the timing of which is unclear) Barbara Bailey attended a party at the home of Charles "Chuck" Isaacson. There she met a handsome, athletic young man (or soldier) by the name of Jack Stoddard. Whether this was before Jack’s Army enlistment in the fall of 1942 or whether it was while he was home on furlough from the Army in 1943 is unknown. Regardless, Barbara and Jack fell in love. They were married in a civil ceremony on the lawn of the Priest's house next to the Catholic Church in Aberdeen on July 4, 1943.
However, Jack Stoddard was not Barbara’s first love. She dated Stilson L. Erickson who graduated from Hoquiam High School in 1938. He attended Grays Harbor College for two years after high school and graduated from GHC in 1940. They probably were dating at the time he joined the Army for a three-year enlistment in March 1941. They exchanged letters during the period of his military service. Stilson died in North Africa on April 19, 1943 in the service of his country. It must have been a devastating blow to his 70-year old father Oscar, a Hoquiam men’s clothing merchant, and his 65-year old wife, as well as to Barbara Bailey. It’s especially sad considering that the North African Campaign ended in Tunisia with the capture of 275,000 prisoners of war a month after his death.
After the War, Jack returned to work as an ice delivery route man. The couple resided with Barbara’s mother Margaret and her grandmother Jessie Ann Fraser at the family home at 624 Essex Avenue in Aberdeen. Barbara then gave birth to their first child, John Spencer Stoddard Jr., on September 1, 1945.
By the end of 1955, Jack and Barbara had six children and were expecting yet another. Barbara’s grandmother, Jessie Ann Fraser, died in 1955 but the small house on Essex Avenue was already getting too crowded for the growing Stoddard family. Jack and Barbara managed to purchase a house not far away at 502 Burleigh Avenue…but that house was too small as well…so Jack arranged for an addition to be built. Barbara gave birth to a set of twins on February 7, 1956 and then the family moved into their new home in 1957.
When the twins became enrolled in Kindergarten at McDermott Elementary School in 1961-62, Barbara was ready to return to work. She was hired as an administrative assistant at McDermott Elementary School on February 27, 1962 and continued to work there until her retirement on June 20, 1987.
While all her other children graduated from St. Mary’s Catholic School in Aberdeen, the unruly twins caused so much chaos for the Catholic nuns at St. Mary’s School that in 1965 that Jack and Barbara were forced to transfer the twins to McDermott Elementary where Barbara could keep a closer eye on them. There was nothing worse for me than being disciplined by my teacher for a classroom disruption and being sent to sit on the hallway floor outside the classroom door...and then have my mother pass by!
While Jack kept busy with his teaching, coaching and other work-related activities (which kept him away from home much of the time), Barbara was also working a full-time job while at the same time managing the household finances, doing all the shopping, cooking, washing and cleaning at home. Barbara got a little help from her mother Margaret who would walk over and do the ironing while she washed and folded clothes. It must be added that Barbara was a fantastic cook…and cooking for a household of 10 every day was quite an achievement. If we had company over for dinner, she might be cooking for 12 or more. On Thanksgiving and at Christmas she always purchased a 24 pound turkey that would fill our oven. It always came out perfect too….and her turkey gravy (enough for everyone) was unequaled.
While Barbara as a school secretary and homemaker didn’t get the same notoriety and accolades as her coach-husband, her job was equally as hard and her work equally as important. Although Barbara was somewhat aloof as a mother (and by that I mean she wasn’t the hugging, kissing and playful parent that her husband was), it was largely because she was raised as an only child. And her mother Margaret was also largely raised as a only child (at least until her sister Gertrude was born when she was 12). I heard my grandmother say more than once, “Children should be seen – not heard!” You can see from photographs that her father Waldemar was a fun-loving and friendly-type personality, but Barbara was usually stoic, quiet and very much like her mother Margaret in temperament. Her mother, Margaret Matilda Bailey, passed away at Tacoma General Hosital on February 19, 1975 after a short illness.
As a parent, Barbara was relatively ill-prepared to deal with the craving attention of 8 children only ten years apart in age from the oldest to the youngest. She was also pregnant nearly every year of her life for more than a decade. She was already tired from work when she came home to cook dinner and the dirty clothes baskets were overflowing. There were few “fast-food” restaurants to help give her a break even if they had the extra money. If I was disciplined as a child, it was because I deserved it. If my mother said no about something I wanted, it was probably because they couldn’t afford it. Class jealousy was non-existent. I never knew our family had less than others. All in all, the writer of this biography will attest that (Jack and) Barbara Stoddard provided him with the greatest childhood imaginable. Being born last probably had its advantages in such a large family. I always felt like the luckiest kid alive to be the son of Jack and Barbara Stoddard.
The twins graduated from high school in 1975. Jack retired from Grays Harbor College in 1978. Barb was still working at McDermott Elementary. Their lives slowed down and they were able to spend some quiet time together. They took several trips to San Francisco to see the twins and rented a summer vacation home in Lake Tahoe to spend time with their son John and his family between 1979 and 1983. Then Jack had a difficult surgery to remove a pituitary gland tumor. He bravely went on with life but was never was quite the same. He passed unexpectedly just after the first of the year in 1985. Whatever plans they had in mind after Barbara’s retirement were now a mute point. Barbara worked one more year at McDermott elementary and retired at the end of the school year in 1987. She spent the next 21 years alone. She had her children who came to visit, and she had her memories of the good times with Jack - and it was enough for her.
After her retirement, Barbara’s health began to deteriorate. While she tried to institute a walking regimen to improve her health, she ended-up fracturing a hip which sidelined her. She then tried to return to her routine too quickly, and while attempting to drive again, she had an accident while parking the car. After that she quit driving. Her worse fear now became realized: she had lost her mobility and her freedom to go shopping and to drive to visit her friends. She lost her independence. It was a devastating blow for Barbara.
Barbara was the nicest human being I ever knew. She seldom had a mean thing to say about anyone...and she never used profane language. If she did offer an unfavorable opinion of someone it was in measured tones. She would often remind me that, “if you don’t have anything nice to say about someone - don’t say anything at all.” Those words certainly came from her mother. She had a large circle of women friends. She always took the time to visit her friends and join them for lunch or dinner meet-ups. She frequently sent cards and letters to friends and family to keep in touch. She had the most beautiful cursive handwriting imaginable. She always used encouraging language in advising her children and allowed them to live their lives and make their own mistakes. Even in the face of declining health and function, she maintained her dignity. She seldom complained. (Jack and) Barbara (and other contemporaries like their close friends and neighbors Earl and Betty Miller) defined the term, “The Greatest Generation.”
Barbara spent the last years for her life at Channel Point, a retirement home in Hoquiam, and at Riverside Place in Hoquiam, an assisted living community. Her daughter Sally and her son Michael, both of whom lived in Aberdeen, were her primary caregivers. Her daughter Nancy was a frequent visitor and companion. Ultimately her failing heath caused her to be moved to a nursing care facility in Montesano where she passed peacefully on February 3, 2008.
This memorial was created to acknowledge my mother’s sacrifices for her family and to honor her memory. Rest peacefully Mom….you deserve it. You knew all that I write here...because I told you the same myself.